The study “Conflict with friends, relationship blindness, and the pathway to adult disagreeableness” conducted in Virginia in 2015, showed that child maladministration can result in violent and anti-social behaviour in adulthood. It is for this reason that it is the precise responsibility of every parent to ensure that they send out to the world children who are polite and able to behave well on every occasion.
Parents, before bringing up a child, have to reflect on the mistakes they themselves make more or less voluntarily in their everyday lives. Whether we like it or not, children are often a reflection of what they see and feel at home. Incompetent or overly permissive adults cannot set limits or rules suited to a child’s age, thus favouring anarchy that often results in impoliteness.
The value of gratitude
Do your children ever say thank you or do you think they are entitled to it all? Gratitude for what they have or are given is a fundamental value to be taught from an early age. Encourage your children to say thank you and ask or to express themselves with courteous and respectful words. If you can get them to acquire this pleasant habit from an early age, there is a good chance of them being kind and well-behaved adults when they grow up.
Being too permissive
“Just this once is a phrase that should be removed from the parenting dictionary. It’s easy to give in to the pressure of a momentary whim, we all do it out of weariness, because we don’t want to appear bad or simply because we don’t feel like being too strict. In reality, a parent must strive as hard as possible to be consistent.
Do not give value to money
Feeling like an ATM? You probably haven’t taught your child the real value of money over the years. That’s why (s)he’s always asking you to buy a CD, a game or a dress. The secret is to establish a weekly pocket allowance that the child will have to learn to manage with care from an early age, thus learning the value of savings and especially how to plan his/her purchases based on the money available to him/her.
Don’t cover up
If they have forgotten to do their homework or have hidden something important from you, don’t cover it up but help them to take on their responsibilities. The more you try to justify it or the more you try to minimize what happened, especially in front of your partner, the more the child will feel entitled to continue with the same mistakes.
Do not allow anyone else yell at them.
Do not let anyone else yell at your child. A simple reprimand from a teacher is enough to trigger harsh measures from angry parents and family members. If done correctly, however, and always from the perspective of an educational model, the reproach of a third party can help a child to understand and confront the mistake she/he has made.